The Craziest Bridesmaid’s Rules Written By A Bride

Bridal Gown

This is what Bridezilla looks like in full-force.

   E! Online recently leaked an amazing email from Gawker which is the go-to online source for hilarious, unbelievably leaked emails via the recipient. Now, this amazing forum recently received an email from an anonymous bridesmaid that was sent to her from the bride-to-be and it includes some of the most ridiculous rules ever placed upon a bridal party. They’re too good to make up – here is the breakdown of the email…

   Ok, the email begins with a warm greeting from the bride who also refers to herself as “Queen Bee,” where she writes, “Welcome to my bridal party, it is officially six months until my wedding day,” then things get a little more serious when she throws in the line, “I just wanted to go over some ground rules…”

Please NOTE: The names of the bridesmaid’s have been changed to protect any shred of dignity that this bridezilla leftover. Also, it is quoted from the email (hence first person).

Rule 1 

Weigh-ins will begin in three weeks. (Yep, that’s all she wrote.)

Rule 2

No one can be skinnier than the bride. That means Nicole and Ashley will be on a protein weight gainer diet until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.

Rule 3

I was thinking that we should start daily Google docs, where everyone can update in real time their daily calorie content… I thought the food calculator would be a great way for me to monitor everyone’s caloric intake. Thoughts? (Bridezilla, are they even allowed to have thoughts?)

Rule 4

If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions, this applies to coloring as well. Failure to follow will result in bridal banishment.

   Now, obviously rule number four was the hardest to oblige due to the fact that Queen Bee sent her “bees,” a follow up email reading…

 

Good afternoon all my faithful bees. It brings me great sadness to write this e-mail, but it was brought to my attention that one of my chosen bees is defected. She is in violation of Rule No. 4, despite asking permission and having her request denied! The punishment is obviously bridal party banishment. However, after careful consideration, I have decided to re-instate her status on a provision basis. As long as her bangs grow out by [date two weeks before the wedding], she will be allowed to participate in our festivities. She has reassured me that she will be using horse shampoo for rapid hair growth until that point.

   As if this story could not get any better, one commenter on Gawker said that she knew the bride and announced to everyone that three of the bridesmaid’s no longer speak to the bride. Talk about some serious drama involving a bridezilla, the dress fitting for the remaining bridesmaids must have been full of excitement and joy. Oh, and for a piece of advice for all the future bride’s, do not ever allow yourself to become this girl.

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