The Craziest Bridesmaid’s Rules Written By A Bride

Bridal Gown

This is what Bridezilla looks like in full-force.

   E! Online recently leaked an amazing email from Gawker which is the go-to online source for hilarious, unbelievably leaked emails via the recipient. Now, this amazing forum recently received an email from an anonymous bridesmaid that was sent to her from the bride-to-be and it includes some of the most ridiculous rules ever placed upon a bridal party. They’re too good to make up – here is the breakdown of the email…

   Ok, the email begins with a warm greeting from the bride who also refers to herself as “Queen Bee,” where she writes, “Welcome to my bridal party, it is officially six months until my wedding day,” then things get a little more serious when she throws in the line, “I just wanted to go over some ground rules…”

Please NOTE: The names of the bridesmaid’s have been changed to protect any shred of dignity that this bridezilla leftover. Also, it is quoted from the email (hence first person).

Rule 1 

Weigh-ins will begin in three weeks. (Yep, that’s all she wrote.)

Rule 2

No one can be skinnier than the bride. That means Nicole and Ashley will be on a protein weight gainer diet until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.

Rule 3

I was thinking that we should start daily Google docs, where everyone can update in real time their daily calorie content… I thought the food calculator would be a great way for me to monitor everyone’s caloric intake. Thoughts? (Bridezilla, are they even allowed to have thoughts?)

Rule 4

If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions, this applies to coloring as well. Failure to follow will result in bridal banishment.

   Now, obviously rule number four was the hardest to oblige due to the fact that Queen Bee sent her “bees,” a follow up email reading…

 

Good afternoon all my faithful bees. It brings me great sadness to write this e-mail, but it was brought to my attention that one of my chosen bees is defected. She is in violation of Rule No. 4, despite asking permission and having her request denied! The punishment is obviously bridal party banishment. However, after careful consideration, I have decided to re-instate her status on a provision basis. As long as her bangs grow out by [date two weeks before the wedding], she will be allowed to participate in our festivities. She has reassured me that she will be using horse shampoo for rapid hair growth until that point.

   As if this story could not get any better, one commenter on Gawker said that she knew the bride and announced to everyone that three of the bridesmaid’s no longer speak to the bride. Talk about some serious drama involving a bridezilla, the dress fitting for the remaining bridesmaids must have been full of excitement and joy. Oh, and for a piece of advice for all the future bride’s, do not ever allow yourself to become this girl.

Tips For The Wedding Toasters

Bridesmaid DressNow, whether you are good at public speaking or not, actually if you aren’t then you should not have accepted the offer at giving a toast, but anyways, if you are one of the designated toaster’s, there are a few key things to remember in order to keep the room casual and not awkward. When people give wedding toasts, they often forget the different between a roast and a toast. However, if you fear this to be your problem and think that your speech might be a little too racy, just think about the bride and groom’s personality. If you understand the personalities of the people who asked you to be the maid of honor and best man at their wedding, then they should have some faith in you. So, here are some solid speech giving tips for the future toaster’s out there!

Keep It Simple

Bridesmaid

No one wants to listen to you talk for an hour about stories that they were not there for, bottom line. Yes, it is a cute moment for you and the bride to share, but it is not just the two of you in the room. Your speech doesn’t have a time limit, but people have attention spans that vary at different lengths. So, just be genuine with your emotions, let the words flow, and keep it at a decent length.

Don’t Aim To Make People Laugh

Bridesmaid Dress

Jokes will come if they come. If you try to make people laugh, you most likely won’t. If the bride and groom have a sense of humor and sarcasm and jokes are their forte, then you can throw some jabs in there, but try making the personality assessment in a broad sense, then the whole room has the potential to understand and relate.

Keep Away From College Stories

Wedding Tips

College reflection is meant to be done in the privacy of a girl’s apartment on a girl’s night. The bride’s parent might know you girls got into some crazy antics in college, but that doesn’t mean they want to hear about them so, by no means should you be making anyone uncomfortable. Also, aside from the age demographic of your audience, a majority of them have no idea what you are talking about and they simply don’t care.

It’s Okay To Cry

Wedding Gown

While you should not aim to make people cry, these speeches can be a really moving moment between the bridesmaid and the bride. If you happen to cry, don’t hold it back with too much force because then your voice will reach new and strange octaves. There are also plenty of girls around you to help adjust your make up if you do happen to tear up. Also, if you feel like you are on the verge of losing it, or you don’t like crying in public, then just take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

If you are nervous about giving a speech, just remember that the bride chose you knowing that this would be an important step in the process. So, since your best friend has faith in you, otherwise she would have openly given the toasting opportunity to someone else, just speak from your heart and help in celebrating the love between the bride and groom…  You’ll be fine!

 

 

 

Bridesmaids Funny Girl A Bridesmaid No More!

Celebrity WeddingEllie Kemper took on the role of playing the quirky, Pixar-obsessed, obsessive compulsive, bridesmaid in the popular, box-office hit, Bridesmaids. However, the roles have turned and Kemper has officially tied the knot with former writer for Conan O’Brian, Michael Koman. The funny girl, actress has a star studded wedding with some comedic relief from Bridesmaids co-star, Kristen Wiig, and The Office co-star, Mindy Kaling.

Celebrity WeddingAfter announcing her engagement in December, by no coincidence, on Conan, she has been doing several interviews on how she even surprised herself with being a bridezilla. Kemper explained, “I was always like, ‘I’m going to be the cool bride! I’m going to be laid back about everything!’ But it turns out I’m not.” The funny girl from The Office went onto explain that her fiance is getting the worst of the bridezilla lashing, “With Michael, my fiance, I’ve been like, ‘Why don’t you contribute?’ So, then he contributes an idea and I’m like, ‘That’s a terrible idea! Stop contributing!’”

Knowing the bride’s personality through interviews and even in her acting roles, this wedding must have really been a fun wedding to get the invite to. While Kemper’s acting career has driven her into the friend roles, her execution of the smaller parts is on point with the comedic relief.

Bridesmaid Dishes On Nene Leakes Wedding

BridesmaidEven though the Atlanta Housewife, Nene Leakes, has filmed her recent nuptials to her ex-husband for a Bravo! series spin-off, there is nothing like an exclusive interview with a bridesmaid that can really dish on the things that the camera’s could not capture. Leakes’ best friend and LA Basketball Wife, Laura Govan, recently opened up about how anything dealing with Nene Leakes is a good time.

While the camera’s undoubtedly captured some dramatic moments (reality TV would be nothing without it), Govan explained how the bridesmaids dresses posed more problems that the actual bride and her demands. “What I wanted was something different,” Govan explained, “I didn’t get it, but we worked it out. As a matter of fact, I took pieces out of the trashcan. I took some scraps to make it work.” Of course, it may seem like not letting a woman such as Laura Govan have her dream bridesmaid dress would put a damper on the friendship, but she assured that it was anything, but that.

Bridesmaid Dresses

Leakes wedding photo from Life & Style.

“She’s very mothering,” Govan gushed about Leakes, “She’s very wise. She gives me a lot, a lot of my knowledge with TV, life, being a woman, coming up in this business, what I should do, what I shouldn’t do. I admire her as a person, as a woman. So, I appreciate everything that she’s done for me and has given to me.” That is exactly what fans like to see! Friends who can work out their differences and still appreciate each other’s worth.

What Not To Do In Your Wedding Photos

Wedding photos are one of those things that you will carry around with you forever. It is no surprise that the perfect photos you strive for are something you will one day show your children and grandchildren. However, there are always those couples out there that might not realize a photo is a mistake before taking it, and by some strange twist of incorrect fate, they believe it is a good pose. So, while the biggest tips are to be aware of your surroundings and hire a professional photographer, these people missed that apparent memo…

Do Not Make People Regret The Creation Of Photoshop:

Wedding Tips

Do NOT, by any means, hire any photographer that could support the prosecution side for making Photoshop illegal. There are so many things wrong with this image, even if they were trying to be funny. The groom is essentially floating above the water while his bride’s sitting on a children’s bed in the middle of a pond that may or may not be sitting in someone’s front yard. Watch your use of Photoshop, no child wants to ever know their parents were capable of this.

Don’t Promote Violence:

Wedding Tips

While it is never good to promote any type of violence, when it comes to wedding photos, this couple fell seriously short of looking even remotely like the Mob. Of course, no one knows what their intentions of this photo were, probably not even them, but if one thing is certain, it’s that this is what a Men In Black and Mob themed birthday party would look like. While the sunglasses could work, make sure EVERYONE is wearing them (Check the far left bridesmaid). Also, under no circumstances are leather vests over tuxedo jackets okay.

Avoid Every Type Of Photobombing:

Wedding Tips

Not much needs to be said about these photos except for the fact that the photographer must not have been looking through the lens, or even at the people in the frame. Yes, it is funny to be photobombed by wildlife, but make sure it doesn’t get to a point where people might think the animal actually plays an integral role in your relationship.

Try Not To Cause Controversy:

Wedding Tips

There is nothing wrong with being opinionated, but try not to let that reflect in your wedding photos, otherwise you will most likely look like this unlucky couple. Congratulations on your big day, but it is not a good idea to make controversial political statements at the same time. For example, it is not recommended to have Death standing in the frame while holding cardboard cutouts of nuclear weapons… it’s just not cool, and it doesn’t even look that good.

Be Above The Influence:

Wedding Tips

Wedding photos are in total support of expressing the beauty of a couples relationship, not their weekend activities. While this could have been horrible timing, or maybe they thought the spelling would throw people off (does that say ‘snake math’?), it is still not an excuse to publish this photo as a milestone marker. Nice try, but next time, look into finding a different concrete structure for your backdrop.

Look At Your Surroundings – BEFORE:

Wedding Tips

While this may just be the general problem for all these photos, it is one thing verbally asking animal to move versus actual humans. What is even going on here? It almost looks like these newlyweds were photoshopped into an moment that was awkwardly captured on film. Bottom line is, if your photographer will allow this nonsense, then take the picture (at least it’s a good laugh) and get your money back.

Do Not Do This:

Wedding Tips

Okay, so this may be a comical idea for a photo, but the execution is off. Under no circumstances should one of your wedding photos look like a funny “Save The Date” invitation. If it is looking like a “Save The Date” photo, then you must think you are stuck in time, because the date has passed. The idea of the concerned father protecting his little girl is a cute and funny , but one, the bride looks too oblivious to the events occurring, and two, the dad is not even centered. It’s a cute idea, but when it comes to your actual wedding photos, just don’t do this.

She Borrowed Her Bridesmaids?

Bridesmaids On my way into work this morning, I was actually listening to the radio, which is rare. However, I heard a news story that actually caught my eye (or ear, rather), and on Miami’s hit radio stations, an interesting news report is hard to come by. Anyways, the DJ started talking about how he has noticed women putting “Want-Ads” online to fill up their bridal party.

I can understand this if you want a big wedding and need a few extra fillers, but one woman called in to explain her side of the story and why did she rent her bridesmaids? So, it would look like she had more attractive friends. Come on! As horrible as it sounds, there are many lonely brides out there that might not be able to find themselves some bridesmaids before the big day, but to totally knock your friends out just so these people can make your wedding photos look better? Now, either this bride thought her friends were not up to her standards, or this bride did not think things through and there is a chance these model bridesmaids outshined her.

Now, the radio hosts tried their best to reason with this bride and how she basically rented her bridesmaids, they just could not understand to her extent. The number one rule of a wedding is that no one outshines the bride, so why put beautiful people in beautiful suits and bridesmaid dresses next to you in the photos of your big life celebration? Whatever the case may be, one can always rely on the radio to entertain us daily and seriously put some of the new wedding trends into serious question.

OC Housewife Still Surprised Over Bridesmaid Pick

Bridesmaid DressesThe Real Housewives of Orange County easily ranks on the top of the housewives list from the Bravo! network. Now, within the OC housewives, there has been countless cat fights and name calling, but when the leader of the pack, Tamra Barney, got into a fight with her supposed best friend, Gretchen Rossi, she was short a bridesmaid for her long anticipated wedding to her fiancé, Eddie.

It was not known to OC housewife fans that Rossi got the axe from the alter until photos were uploaded to the Instagram accounts of Rossi and Heather Dubrow, who replaced Rossi as a bridesmaid. It was a surprising choice for Barney as she and Dubrow had only met almost two years ago, but onscreen, they did click right upon meeting each other. Although they may have bonded a lot over the past two seasons, Dubrow was still shocked when Barney asked her to be a maid. “We were going over wedding details and having cocktails and it was really lovely. And then she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding! I was completely floored, shocked, very honored. I thought it was so sweet,” Dubrow explained.

Celebrity Wedding News

Barney and her new husband at their reception.

The long awaited wedding episode is set to air Monday, September 2, on Bravo! While pictures have been leaked by the OC housewives cast, many cannot wait to see Barney’s elegant white gown along her beautiful bridesmaid dresses. Although this is not Barney’s first time down the alter, many are hopeful that this will be her last and wish her and Eddie all the happiness in the world.

Soul Surfer Marries On Hawaiian Hilltop

Wedding NewsIt was in October of 2003 that Hawaiian native, Bethany Hamilton was attacked by a Tiger shark while surfing with her best friend Alana Blanchard and Blanchard’s father. The shark bit Hamilton’s arm off within a split second attack, and a massive hunt was initiated to find the shark that attacked the young girl (Hamilton was 13 years old at the time). Now, in 2013, Hamilton married Christian youth minister, Adam Dirks.

In 2011, the movie Soul Surfer was released based on Hamilton’s shark attack and her recovery and return to the competitive surfing world. Her struggles were unimaginable and she explained in an interview with InTouch magazine, “I always felt it would be hard to meet someone because I’m different. To say I was completely comfortable looking at myself in the mirror and seeing one arm would be a lie. I just had to trust in God and know that he had someone special for me.” Dirks and Hamilton met through mutual friends at their church and married on the north shore of Kauai, Hawaii.

Wedding News

Hamilton at 13 and now.

“I look forward to being the best wife that I can be for Adam and to starting our new adventure together,” Hamilton told People magazine. “I love surfing, but getting married doesn’t even compare, this was definitely the best night of my life.” The wedding party consisted for 13 bridesmaids and eight groomsmen who were all barefoot for the entire ceremony along with the bride and groom. Hamilton donned a traditional white gown that she posed in for InTouch magazine, but in due time, the bridesmaids dresses and groom apparel should start popping up on Hamilton’s Instagram.

How To Accommodate The Bridesmaids

Recently, Marie Claire put out an article giving helpful advice revealing some easy tips to finding the perfect and affordable bridesmaid dress.  It can seem like a daunting task, especially with all the different cuts and colors of dresses, but there are some top tips known by many brides and bridesmaids, alike. The most important thing for a bride to remember is that although it is her big day, the bridesmaid’s play an integral part within the process.

 

Don’t Take Care Of Them Last Minute

Bridesmaids

Believe it or not, picking out your bridesmaid dresses before planning the overall color theme of the wedding can actually make the planning process easier. The bridesmaid dresses can also represent the theme of the wedding, and if you are stuck with finding the theme, look at some dresses and it might just come to you. Also, do not be stubborn when it comes to the color of their dresses. Take their skin tone into consideration, and if you chose them as your bridesmaids, then you should have already thought about finding dresses that flatter them.

Keep Them Warm

Winter Wedding Dresses

While you may be having a hot flash from being nervous, your bridesmaids might feel the actual temperature of the venue, and they could be approaching the early stages of hypothermia. With that point aside, goose bumps are not the most attractive look, so make sure they have scarves or shrugs to keep them warm in the event that the venue is a little chilly.

Be Prepared For Alterations

If you are having custom bridesmaid dresses made, make sure to already plan out appointments for alterations because your bridesmaid’s can lose weight, gain weight, or maybe they are in the process of starting their own family and a pregnant belly needs to fit comfortably. There are many dresses that have empire waists and they fit in a very flattering way on many different body types.

Have Fun!

By all means, do not forget that this is the bride’s big day! It is the beginning of a new life and the day they get to profess their love to all the people around them. While the whole wedding process is known to be stressful due to the celebration, all of it will be well worth it by the time of the reception when everyone pops open a bottle of champagne and dances the night away.

While many may assume these tips are common wedding knowledge, or they are easier said than done, they are still just helpful little reminders to keep your cool on the big day. There are both obligations of the bride and bridesmaid’s, but with all the stress, sometimes it is easy to forget that the big day can be a little anxiety crazed for everyone.

Bride Publicly Shames Cake Maker

Wedding DisasterDon’t ever mess with a bride, whether it be her dress, reception, groom, bridesmaids, or any part of the entire wedding, just do not mess with it. The baker’s at an undisclosed bakery in the U.K. probably should have listened to that advice before they sold a woman the lopsided gray blob that was supposedly her wedding cake. The bride, Celia, provided the bakery with a photo of the design she had wanted, however, when she picked up her three-tier, black tire cake, she immediately took revenge. Now, what better way to take revenge than selling the cake on eBay?

Wedding Planning

According to one of the comments placed on the item, they described it as a “cake-shaming,” and on the description of the listing, Celia noted the cake was “used” and continued with “A few defects due to maker being unskilled. Uncut, along with large amount of awful cupcakes for free. No topper or decoration. Unusual design. Very Heavy.” This dear bride ended by letting the bidder know that there were no returns on the item. Talk about a serious wedding dilemma solved with bridal wrath.

There were actually 11 bids on the cake that began at $1.54. However, Celia removed the sale after an experienced cake maker commented on the item saying, “Sorry, but as an experienced cake maker, I just thought I would contact you. I don’t think you will be able to/really should sell this cake on eBay, not least of which for health and safety reasons. If someone actually ate it (God Forbid!!) – I would worry it might come back on you rather than the original cake maker.”

Coming from the perspective of the bride, this cake “baker” should have felt her wrath, because what this cake looked like would send anyone off their rocker. Celia later explained that she did not intend to actually sell the cake to anyone, but to prevent this shop from ever producing or selling another disaster such as her cake.